Seven Seconds After Waking: Reflections on Types of Grief This January
- Grounded Grief
- 3 days ago
- 7 min read
THE GROUNDED GRIEF NEWSLETTER | JANUARY 2026
The New Year is a time when many of us are fed the narrative that clarity is supposed to arrive, a new leaf is to be turned, and that our grief may feel different or better. Yet for most who are grieving, New Year's can feel quite the opposite.
During this last week of January, I am struck by, and have been reflecting on, all of the different types of grief that I’ve observed in myself (and others). Here’s a reminder that no matter the time of year, there are a myriad of grief experiences and, as the calendar turns, our grief is often enacted in new and unexpected ways.
I speak here as a human first, and a clinical therapist second. Here are some of my non-clinical types of grief that I am noticing as I enter 2026:
Morning Grief: This is the grief that whispers to you the reality of things, usually about seven seconds after you’ve opened your eyes in the morning. It shatters the benevolent wake-up fog and pierces through you with the truth. Sometimes morning grief sinks into Slog Grief. Other times it is followed by “The True Storyteller Grief” (see below).
The True Storyteller Grief: This grief tries to hold your hand as she delivers the searing truth of your situation. She doesn’t look away from you as she tells you the new reality of your life, seemingly like she believes you can actually live with it. She knows there are other grief characters waiting in the wings, but she wishes you could just be with her for a bit longer, even though she, too, understands that the news she bears is brutal.
Slog Grief: This is the heavy stuff. Slog grief is a weighed-down winter coat, smeared with molasses. It is smog, low to the ground, inescapable. It is that grief that continues even after the searing morning grief—the grief that slows down your thoughts, steals your short-term memory, interrupts any inertia, and deems you apathetic to things you are embarrassed to admit. It sinks you into a myopic trough that feels hard to crawl out of.
Clarity Grief: This grief is lighter and piercing at the same time. She cooks a simple, nurturing vegetarian meal that somehow allows you to feel and see the truth of the situation without fully sinking back into it. She offers up some hope, but not the hope tied to an outcome. Rather, she points you towards the pure type of hope—the hope that you will redefine your relationship to it, and begin to open up to new dreams and possibilities.
Energy Grief: This is the grief that reminds you of what is now possible, what is no longer holding you back, and what should be risked. This grief’s retort is: Why the hell not? This grief can wake you at 3:00 AM and send you to your notebook to scribe all of the places you want to see, reassess your bucket list, and restart projects that you planned in 2016 and forgot were even on your list.
Purge Grief: This grief wants to clean out the drawers and scrub the tub. It is frenetic and productive, even though it knows it is fronting for what is under it, which is the need to rest, be still, and sit in the pain. Purge Grief is good at dusting baseboards and also at disconnecting itself from the body to ensure tasks are done.
The Untrue Storyteller Grief: This is the ruminator that tells you about the "should haves," "could haves," and the "if onlys" of your situation. Ironically, this storyteller tries to distract you with these untruths so you don’t focus on the actual pain in your chest.
Sore Grief: This grief shows up in your chest. You may not notice it until your friend asks you to go for a brisk walk, or when you turn over in a funny way in your sleep. Any deep breath reveals how strained your chest is, and how the weight has just been hanging out, ready for you to put your hand to it.
Rage Grief: This is a dear friend that everyone is scared of—she is related to the True Storyteller, and often shows up after the True Storyteller’s grief speaks. She tries to channel her grief into action, and she is a benevolent release valve. She is deeply kind, intelligent, and attuned to the world, despite most others thinking of her as frightening and overly simple.
As we navigate the rest of this month—and this year—I am curious: Which of these characters are you sitting with today?
Perhaps you are with the True Storyteller, or maybe Purge Grief has you cleaning out every closet in the house. None of these grief characters are wrong or right. Some are visitors for a while and some come and go within minutes. I like to think of them as benevolent beings who arrive to help us to navigate life events that have come too quickly, pain that we would rather not feel, and loss that is altogether too hard to sit with alone.
I’m sharing these reflections because, while I am a therapist, I also walk these grief states with you. Sadly, this grief is not something we can solve by February 1st. Rather, it is a relationship that we must lean into in order for the grief to ironically, become part of us so it can move and shift.
If you find yourself in the Slog or the Soreness today, take a deep breath. You don’t have to turn a new leaf or find clarity just because the calendar says so. You just have to be where you are, noticing your grief, allowing it to exist, and finding people and spaces who support your not-okness in it.
If you're looking for a space to be with these characters among others who understand, join us for our next Grief Walk in Maryland or Portland or our Happy Hour for Sad People: a monthly unconventional grief circle hosted at a rotating local PDX bar. You can find the details about these events and all others here and we've included handy links below.
With warmth and solidarity,
Katherine & The Grounded Grief Team
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Meet Our Newest Team Members with Openings!
Expanding Our Circle of Care
We are thrilled to introduce three incredible new practitioners to the Grounded Grief team. Each brings a unique lens to the grieving process, and all three currently have immediate openings for both in-person and remote sessions.
Alyssa Ackerman | B.A., LMT
Focus: Communal Grief & Ritual
Alyssa is a grief counselor, somatic practitioner, and death doula who specializes in the power of ritual. Her work focuses on communal grief practices—helping us remember that we don't have to carry our losses alone.
A note for our far-away friends: Alyssa is available to work with clients regardless of which state you live in, making her ritual-based support accessible to everyone.
Tisha Washington | MSW, LMSW
Focus: Outdoor & Walking Therapy
Tisha believes that movement can be a powerful partner to mourning. In addition to virtual sessions, Tisha offers "Moving Grief Together" outdoor walking sessions. By getting out of the office and into the fresh air, she helps clients process grief through a blend of mindfulness, meditation, and gentle movement.
Lindsay Wooster-Halberg | MSW, LCSW
Focus: Children, Teens, & Families
Lindsay joins us with a heart for our youngest grievers. With a background in end-of-life work and trauma-informed care, she provides a specialized space for children and adolescents to express their grief.
Note on Insurance: Lindsay is currently paneling with Aetna and Kaiser. She is accepting private pay clients now and will be fully in-network with those providers shortly.
Upcoming In-Person Events:
Grounded Grief Walks PDX
Tuesdays from 12:30-1:30 pm Pacific Time
Portland, Oregon
Join the Grounded Grief Team for gentle outdoor grief group woods walks with space for quiet, conversation, and connection. Grief Counselors Katherine Hatch, MSW, LCSW, and Alyssa Ackerman, B.A., LMT, will be leading us on these walks.
Moving Grief Together: An Outdoor Walking Grief Support Group
Fridays from 10:00-11:00 am Eastern Time
Chevy Chase, Maryland
Join Tisha Washington, MSW, LMSW every Friday from 10:00-11:00 am Eastern for gentle outdoor grief group walks with space for quiet, conversation, and connection.
Happy Hour for Sad People: An Unconventional Grief Circle
February 23 & March 23 | 7:00 PM Pacific Time
Portland, Oregon
Grounded Grief x Advice Booth have turned "Happy Hour for Sad People" into a monthly residency. Join Juniper Wong, MSW, LICSW every fourth Monday of the month for the grief circle you didn't know you needed...yup, at a bar.
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Here's what's upcoming. Mark your calendars!
Feb 6th: Winter’s Wisdom for Grief
Winter has wisdom for us when it comes to our grief. How do we honor the innate call to root in this time?
Join Tisha Washington, MSW, LMSW, and Katherine Hatch, MSW, LCSW for a 1-hour workshop on how we can tune into the Season of Winter's innate wisdom when it comes to supporting our grief.
Feb 26th: Where Does My Grief Belong Right Now?
We hear from folks how difficult it can be to show up for our own grief when there are horrors happenings around us daily.
Join Katherine Hatch, MSW, LCSW and A.C. Caldwell, MDiv, MA for a 1-hour remote workshop that aims to support you in your grief as you simultaneously grieve the happenings in our world.
March 10th: When a Hard Job is Even Harder: Parenting a Child through Grief and Loss
Does your parenting now involve holding space for your child's immense grief?
Join Katherine Hatch, MSW, LCSW and Lindsay Wooster-Halberg, MSW, LCSW, for a 1-hour remote workshop aimed to support caregivers who are supporting a grieving child.
April 7th: Grieving My Sibling: A Disenfranchised Loss
We hear how hard it is to find support for the death of a sibling.
Join Katherine Hatch, MSW, LCSW, Lindsay Wooster-Halberg, MSW, LCSW, and others who get it for a 1-hour online workshop that aims to bring together people navigating sibling loss.
Grief isn't meant to be navigated in isolation. We're building a space that honors the messy, non-linear, and beautifully human experience of loss and life. Thank you for being part of it.
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