Day 49: Just. Show. Up.
When people ask me, what should I do for someone who is grieving? How can I support them? My answer is simple. Just. Show. Up. And keep showing up. Small or big ways—it doesn’t matter. Just keep showing up. And try not to tiptoe.
Grievers are already scared of their own reactions. They have never felt this nor done this before. Try to show up without fear (I know, easier said than done).
Showing up without fear means being willing to not know. It might mean admitting you don’t know what to say but you want to keep showing up. It means saying few words, letting the quiet happen. Be willing to keep coming, and be willing to get it wrong and hear what would actually be helpful. Be willing to just come over or just call or send a note or do something, not knowing if it’s the right thing (because the griever won’t know either until it happens). Be willing to take risks and learn from them and take notice if what you offers lands or not.
Showing up can mean a zillion things. A check in text. A phone call. A note. An offer for scheduling a weekly zoom with friends. Food at the door. Snacks at the door. Doing something without expecting a response. An offer to scrub the tub or clean the toilets or do the dishes or take out the trash.
Showing up means doing or saying something that resonates with YOU, not something you think you should do. And trust that the griever will feel your presence and care.
#bereavement #grieftherapy #groundedgrief #acutegrief #traumaticgrief #disenfranchisedgrief #miscarriage #suicide #homicide #continuingbonds #infertility #nondeathloss #divorce #petloss #complicatedgrief #griefeducation #ambiguousloss #childgrief #selfcompassion #bereavedparents #bereavedfamilies #bereavedfamilies #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #bereavedparent #bereavedsibling #anticipatorygrief
Welcome to my #100dayproject. I am providing a daily offering on #grief, in honor of each person who has trusted me with their story and wisdom during their #griefjourney. I hope that others may benefit from simple and straightforward talk about a topic that can be difficult. Thanks for following and/or sharing.