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Loss is Not a Singular Event

Updated: Sep 14, 2021


Day 46: Grief is Not a Singular Event

When we grieve a major loss in our lives, the truth is that we will grieve many things within that loss. Grief does not contain itself to the loss of the person. It ripples, just as relationships ripple into our lives, touching each aspect of who we are and how we exist in our communities and the world.

This ripple effect of grief is what is often called secondary loss. However, I don’t believe that “secondary” can even come close to capturing the complexity and level of layers within a grief journey. Sometimes it feels as though you have just done a great job grieving one aspect, just to find another one waiting for you.

This layering of loss which denies grief as any singular event can be what makes grief feel so different than other experiences—it can feel as though it is incessant, and so hard to know what “an end” looks like. This is why I encourage grievers to be extra attuned to the natural oscillation of the experience, and the moments of reprieve, as these are paramount to one’s ability to catch a breath and get a tiny bit of rest.

Welcome to my #100dayproject. I am providing a daily offering on #grief, in honor of each person who has trusted me with their story and wisdom during their #griefjourney. I hope that others may benefit from simple and straightforward talk about a topic that can be difficult. Thanks for following and/or sharing.

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