Young children teach us adults so much about grief. As long as children are provided the space to feel their emotions (and yes, that can be difficult), they allow their grief to happen, to move, and to oscillate from moments of releasing their pain (yes, this might be a tantrum, wailing, screaming) to the downturn of that release (looking like they are just fine/able to play/as if they have forgotten all about what just happened).
Young children have not yet absorbed the pervasive societal habit of diminishing pain; rather, they allow their innate wisdom to take over, feeling the range of what grief brings—moments of pain, and moments of relief, over and over. Young children do not get as stuck in the hyper-aroused state of suffering that us adults tend to live in during a grief process.
My job often involves helping retrain adults to grieve like children (within some parameters of course). This entails helping people build the resilience to tolerate those moments of pain, so we don’t rush to block it all the time. In turning away from pain, it doesn’t get to release, and therefore, continues to live inside our bodies, not able to fully evolve or heal.
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