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The Who-To-Tell Pyramid


Day 62: The “Who-to-Tell” Pyramid


As I reflect on the early days of my own acute grief, I remember the hazy quality of everything—the air, my thoughts, other people’s offerings of condolences. There was a benevolent fog over everything. I remember needing to not talk about anything related to my dad’s death, except with my daughter, mom, and sisters, for about two weeks. My system couldn’t tolerate expanding this circle, and I honored that.


My clients often describe something similar AND one thing I hear about often is how the story of their loss gets disseminated—and how involved or uninvolved they wish to be in this.


I don’t think there is a right or wrong around how to communicate about your loss, especially when everything can feel so hazy. I DO offer this pyramid framework to many to help them organize their thinking about how to proceed.


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