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Unexamined Loss can be Worse


Day 12: Unexamined Loss Can Be Worse


What makes this true? Why even be concerned about “examining” your grief when you are living the horror of it?


Examining one’s grief is almost impossible at the beginning—because you can feel you ARE your grief, and completely blended with it. Grief can become your existence early on, and that is ok.


However, the act of beginning to OBSERVE your grief IS a path towards the grief being able to evolve and shift and move. EXAMINING your grief is a path towards the grief becoming its own entity, instead of defining you completely.


Examining irreversible loss will not bring your person or your former world back. However, it will mitigate grief becoming stagnant.


Michael Frame’s book, Geometry of Grief, draws parallels between geometry and fractals and grief. Michael Frame is a mathematician and retired Yale professor.



Welcome to my second, 100-day project. I hope to provide a daily offering on something grief-related. I am a grief therapist and educator working with people in Oregon, Washington, DC, Maryland, and Maine. This feed is in honor of each person who has trusted me with their stories and wisdom during their grief journey. I hope that others may benefit from simple and straightforward talk about a topic that can be difficult.

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