Day 9: Back to Basics on Harder Days
I find myself returning each year around this time to pithy, direct and truthful statements about grief. The holidays and the darkness of winter are hard enough when your life hasn’t just imploded with loss, and then with that happening, sometimes the simple is all that one can take in.
I do not believe that our love for our person or people dies when death happens. I believe that love is, among many other things, a biological phenomenon. Being in relationship and loving someone is a complex experience that changes the synapses in our brain, how we store memories, our ability for our nervous system to tolerate stress, etc. Our love for another person, whether that person is alive or has died, exists in our bodies.
AND, knowing this does not make it all ok, or maybe even more tolerable, or fine that our person isn’t physically here. Rather, knowing this may validate that extent of the pain and the internal confusion of our person not being here.
I hope you can offer yourself extra grace during these darker days, and be able to receive grace and kindness from others.
Welcome to my second, 100-day project. I hope to provide a daily offering on something grief-related. I am a grief therapist and educator working with people in Oregon, Washington, DC, Maryland, and Maine. This feed is in honor of each person who has trusted me with their stories and wisdom during their grief journey. I hope that others may benefit from simple and straightforward talk about a topic that can be difficult.