Day 55: How Does a Therapist Grieve #7?
Surrendering to Receiving (featuring work by artist @paulxrutz)
Receiving help can feel like an admission of not-okness. Over the years, I’ve seen it happen in some clients as they walk through the door of my office, tears welling up as they land in a spot that acknowledges that they are not doing well.
Receiving might also feel hard because of societal learnings and burdens around reciprocity. I am finding that to receive from others in early grief often means not having any capacity to track what has been received, let alone knowing how I could ever reciprocate in kind.
I am learning to lean into receiving in this time. To say thank you. To take in the moment and feel the immensity of gratitude, which often wells up in me as tears, and has no actual words. I am learning how to give myself the grace to not know how to adequately express how much the act of caring means to me. I lean into trusting my relationships—that people can feel my gratitude, even if they cannot hear it from my mouth.
I received an incredible gift from my friend, Paul Rutz, in the form of this masterpiece of my dad and my daughter. Thank you, Paul.
Please support this amazing human and his work @paulxrutz
Welcome to my second, 100-day project. I hope to provide a daily offering on something grief-related. I am a grief therapist and educator working with people in Oregon, Washington, DC, Maryland, and Maine. This feed is in honor of each person who has trusted me with their stories and wisdom during their grief journey. I hope that others may benefit from simple and straightforward talk about a topic that can be difficult.