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#5: Seeking Out Projects Involving a Hammer

Day 53: How Does a Therapist Grieve #5? Seek Out Projects (Hammer preferred) I grew up going to the hardware store with my dad. I always appreciated (and still do) the consistent candy options at the check-out, the concrete floors, a full aisle of nails, and even the sharp sound of a key being cut. My daughter and I have found ourselves at ACE many times over the past year, and even more in the past month. Recently, we’ve built a platform/elevator with pulley for her stuffed animals and a custom wooden top for her snail enclosure. I am the first to admit that the construction of these items is more for me than for her. In my previous post some time ago (Day 39: Antidotes to Despair), I spoke of the importance of a generative activity in the face of grief that applies to my current state: One pattern I have noticed that sets some grief journeys apart from others is when people engage with something generative. When I say generative, I am speaking about some act of creation, some production of something. This could be noticing how good it feels to chop carrots at the end of the day, making your kid’s lunch, writing about the struggle of your new reality, caring for your houseplants, or drawing, painting, or dancing. It could be editing a video, taking a class, or some attempt to learn something new. Most times, generative acts do not typically happen early on in grief, yet the seeds of them are already inside the griever, just needing some time and rest to germinate. One reason it feels important to “generate” is that it gives us a sense of control over our lives—a sense which is often shattered in deep grief. Creating something or generating also allows our brain to access its natural desire to hope and imagine, states that acute grief diminishes. #grief #bereavement #grieftherapy #griefcounseling #groundedgrief #acutegrief #traumaticgrief #disenfranchisedgrief #miscarriage #suicide #homicide #infertility #nondeathloss #divorce #petloss #complicatedgrief #griefeducation #ambiguousloss #childgrief #selfcompassion #bereavedparents #bereavedfamilies #bereavedfamilies #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #bereavedparent #bereavedsibling

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